So Hard Already!

Ok, so I got all moved into my apartment in Fort Worth, TX on August 19. It's a nice, quiet, modest apartment on the top floor. It's pretty comfortable, and although my rented furniture is damaged and tattered in several places and made of particle board that is falling apart in places, the sofa and chair are comfy and the dresser houses my clothing nicely. That's really all I asked for. My only complaint is there is apparently a small child that lives across from my apartment as I hear him screaming at least a couple of times a day. That is annoying, but manageable. It is hot, hot, hot here in Fort Worth. The last couple of days I've been jealous of my friends and family back in Tulsa who have been enjoying high temperatures in the 80s, while I'm melting here in TX with highs in the high 90s to low 100s! Below are a couple of pics of my new, temporary home.....

Orientation at TCU for the Nurse Anesthesia program was Friday, August 21. It was all day from 8:30 am until 3 pm. We had a nice orientation dinner that night at 6:00 pm. It was an enjoyable day and the interactions I had with the students, professors and the program director made me even more certain that I had picked the perfect program for me! Everyone is very friendly, supportive and eager to help us succeed. We were able to interact with CRNA students (or RRNAs as TCU calls them--meaning Resident Registered Nurse Anesthetists) one and two years ahead of us, asking them any questions we wanted and soaking up all their wisdom. While their tips were helpful, I still felt terrified. I want so badly to succeed and do well, but after constantly hearing things like "I'd never do it again," "it's the hardest thing you'll ever do," and "you need to dedicate about 10 hours a day for studying to pass," I feel very discouraged. I've been told by several people that after about the first 3 tests I'll be asking myself, "what did I get myself into??" Yes, I'm scared to death.

To make matters worse, Chris just went home tonight after spending the weekend with me, helping me settle in and feel a little less homesick. We are not used to spending even a day apart so this has been pretty difficult on me. Before I left for Fort Worth on the 19th, Chris made me a little care package to kick off my new "adventure." This care package included a very sweet card, a "welcome" mat for my apartment, a bookbag/computer bag and gummy bear vitamins! He knows I hate swallowing large pills so he bought me those to keep my immune boosted and my body full of energy. Below is a pic of the care package that Chris left for me...

We had a great weekend together. He came with me to orientation dinner, and he got to meet some of my classmates and their husbands. I've found I seem to get along well with Tarran, one of the CRNA students from Tulsa. We both used to work at the same facility (we didn't know each other then). We seem to have a few things in common, including the fact that we are both very nervous about starting CRNA school and we are both heartbroken about having to leave our significant others behind. It's really scary when you're in a new place where you don't know anyone, about to start the most grueling task ever, while your main support group is in another state! It makes you feel very insecure, and there is some comfort in befriending people who you know are going through the same things as you are. In a way, our lives have been turned upside-down overnight and, to us, it feels as if we're in a state of crisis. Naturally, that has helped many of us quickly join together and become fast friends. Tarran and I are no exception to this.

Chris and I did not do a whole lot this weekend. We pretty much just explored the area, ate at a couple of new places we had never heard of and rented some movies. Saturday night Chris and I, and Tarran and her husband, Mike, got together and went to the "Movie Tavern" here in Fort Worth. We do not have one of these in Oklahoma so it was very neat. It's a concept where you watch a movie but you can order dinner and drinks as well. The theaters do not seat as many as a normal theater, but that is because everyone gets their own little table. We watched "District 9." It was ok, but very different to say the least. Below are a couple of pics from this weekend...

I miss Chris so much already! He left me at 8:30 tonight to head back to Tulsa. Of course, I cried. In fact, I cried most of the day today in anticipation of him leaving me. This is going to be hard. It's one of the many sacrifices that have to be made to pursue my dream, though. I knew this day was going to come...I just didn't think it would be so hard on me. It's all going to be ok, though. I know this. One day at a time. Tomorrow (August 24) is my first day of class! Here I gooooooooooo..............